Fun Fact #40: Running and smoking do NOT go hand-in-hand

So, today is my last day at work and I leave Pittsburgh permanently early Tuesday morning. I'm excited to get back to California and have no qualms about leaving Pittsburgh early. I have absolutely nothing to do at work and today has perhaps been the most unproductive day of my life. There's a bike/running path that goes by the office windows and I've watching people using it for the past hour or so.

Anyways, my favorite person I saw on the trail during today's people watching session had to be this older man, probably about fifty or so. He was dressed head-to-toe in Nike running gear and seemed to be ready for a pretty intense workout, but one accessory of his was totally out of place.

He was carrying a lit pipe during his whole run. There was a trail of smoke following him and every minute or so he would would lift it up and take a puff or two. It was pretty surreal. I'm assuming that it was filled with tobacco since Pittsburgh has pretty strict weed laws.

It made me think of CKC and her dreadful smoking habits. Let's hope CKC quits before she needs a cigarette to sustain her during a run. Maybe she needs another beautiful cigarette shaped birthday cake to remind her of the horrors of smoking...

Fun Fact #39: Death notices are certainly a way to liven up getting the mail

It's no secret that I'm living in Pittsburgh, but it may come of surprise to some people that I'm basically living in a retirement home while I'm here. I truly believe that the average age of my "neighbors" is about eighty.

The fact that I'm living with a group of people about six decades older than me means that death is a constant presence here. I often see an ambulance parked out front when I come back from work or the gym (my only two activities here besides eating). The deaths don't really bother me since I don't know the people, but it's just a kind of sad situation all around.

What makes it even more awkward is how the building handles these deaths. The deaths are so common that the building managmment has a box pre-printed signs that read:

We're sorry to inform you that blank from apartment blank has passed away on blank date. The funeral is scheduled for blank date.

It makes sense to have these signs but they still come across as a little morbid to me. They're also posted by the mail box, so everyone gets a chance to read the news while they're getting their mail. It's pretty a pretty special experience to learn that Mildred from next door passed away the night before while you're thumbing through the newest issues of US Weekly.

I don't think I ever want to live in a place where death is such a constant part of life that having 20 or so death notices on hand makes total sense. I'd much rather retire someplace where I'm not constantly reminded how close death is. Of course that opinion could very well change in the next fifty or so years.

Fun Fact #38: I've come to some major decisions...

It should be readily apparent to anyone who reads my blog that I'm not a fan of Pittsburgh. I don't like the city, the climate, or the culture. I haven't really had the best experience here and I'm excited to be leaving in May. But, all in all, I'm still happy with my decision to come here because it taught me that I need to live in someplace with a relatively mild climate.

Therefore, I eliminated New York, Chicago, and Boston from my law school search due to the weather and a variety of other criteria. These had all been places that I planned to end up in but my time in Pittsburgh allowed me to see that I am a true West Coaster. I even miss all the hippies!

So I applied to schools in California, Colorado, Oregon, and Washington. I got into a variety of schools, some were a better fit than others. But I've decided that California (specifically the Bay Area) is the place for me and therefore I am going to be attending UC Hastings (located in the heart of San Francisco). I'm extremely excited and I believe that this will be the best place for me.

There are so many things I'm looking forward to: finally living in a city that I love, actually going to law school, being surrounded by an amazing city with an amazing culture, leaving Pittsburgh, paying 1,500 a month for a closet, being the perfect distance between my Oregon friends and family, making new friends, and a million other things.

I know that people have asked me to post more often but I can't really think of anything to write about. Ask me some questions or give me some ideas and I'll totally start posting more.

Also, any advice or tips regarding San Francisco would be totally welcome. I lived in Palo Alto when I was kid but haven't ever lived in the city itself.

Fun Fact #34: Guys will never change...

Spoken by two guys in their forties with heavy Pittsburgh (aka Yinzer) accents during a Pittsburgh Penguin's hockey game:

Guy #1: Celine is pretty hot, right?
Guy #2: I guess so...
Guy #1: You know we've almost hooked up a bunch of times?
Guy #2: Almost?
Guy #1: Yeah, almost. I've decided she must be a lesbian.

I love that some people will go through life avoiding the true cause of their problems. In this case, Guy #2 looked like he had recently crawled out of his parents' basement for the first time in months.

Fun Fact #30: Christmas, Larry the Cable Guy, and a drug addict were all aspects of my day

Today has proven to be totally random for me. I saw/heard so many things that I felt were totally worthy of becoming a "fun fact"...

1) I to meeting with a guy about fixing the furnaces at a bunch of properties and his phone went off about 8 times during our hour long meeting. That in itself wouldn't be noteworthy, but his ring tone certainly was. His ring tone was freakin' Larry the Cable Guy chanting "Git 'r done" and other super cool catchphrases at a progressively louder level. And he kept giggling like a child anytime it rung because I guess he just thought it was that funny and cool. Also, he had an iPhone. An iPhone with a Larry the Cable Guy ring tone. The whole thing makes no sense to me.

2) I had to do a walk through of a government subsidized housing unit and the tenant I meant was unlike anyone I've ever talked to. I'm sure this lady was a drug addict, either active or recovering, and she couldn't follow one thought to the next. She'd talk about everything from Winnie-the-Pooh to roof leaks to asshole cops to her lunch plans in a thirty second time span. I had no idea what to say or how to interact with her, so most of my visit was spent in stunned silence. And on top of all that, her apartment was barely furnished and she lived off food stamps, but she had a massive LCD TV and amazing surround sound to go with it.

3)It is now Feburary. Christmas has been done for well over a month and even the laziest people have removed their Christmas decorations. Except for this individual, whom I'll refer to as Ultimate Christmas Fan (UCF), whose car was still fully decked out for the season.

Click on the picture to see it larger and in all its full glory...

Please take notice of all the festive details UCF has been so careful to include. There are Christmas light stickers to go along with the giant "Joy" sticker. There's also the terrifying Santa creature who seems to chocking on the license plate. There's a Steelers Christmas flag, which is hard to see, butPittsburgh never forgets about their Steelers. My personal favorite touch is the reindeer antlers that grace the roof of the car!!! I was never able to see the front of the car, but I wouldn't be surprised if UCF had a giant reindeer face painted on the grill or something.

Fun Fact #21: Today was a day of firsts

It was snowing hardcore today in Pittsburgh, therefore I had a variety of new experiences:

1) I drove in the snow, intense snow, for the first time ever. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but that may be because I was being freakishly cautious. I don't think I've ever driven as slowly as I drove today.

2) I woke up to snow covered streets. It was a really beautiful sight, but it wasn't as beautiful after I trudged my way to the gym. The wind was so strong that I opened the door of my building and was almost blown back inside.

3) I bought an ice scraper and scraped ice and snow off my car. I also learned that driving through the snow can make a clean car absolutely filthy.

4) I was able to make a snow angel on my porch. It was pretty cool.

5) I was finally able to make the snow and maple syrup concotion that I had read about in the Little House books. And sadly, it wasn't as good as I had always imagined it would be. I think I may have put too much syrup on the snow because it was sickeningly sweet. I totally would have loved it when I was five.

6) I listened to Christmas music and it actually described what I was seeing outside. Listening to "Winter Wonderland" or "White Christmas" is way cooler driving through snowy Pittsburgh than sunny San Diego.

Fun Fact #8: I recently experienced the most awkward date of my life

So, since moving to Pittsburgh I've gone on a lot of dates with various guys, some have obviously gone better than others. But nothing will top the sheer awkwardness of the one I experienced last week.

This kid was relatively good-looking, albeit in a slightly nerdy way, and he was had a degree from Carnegie Mellon University, so there seemed to be some potential. But the date rapidly went downhill due to his need to tell me the most absurd things. CKC has heard them, but I still felt the need to share them. So here's a list of the "fun facts" my date told me about himself:

1.) His mom was a lesbian but he was totally against gay marriage. He got so worked up that he across as blatantly homophobic.

2.) He told me, in his words, that he was a "xenophobe" and didn't like any "foreigners".

3.)He hates all "intellectuals" and doesn't understand why someone would want to go law school. His time at CMU, according to him, was a nightmare because he was surrounded by lots of "Asian intellectuals, most who couldn't speak English".

4.) He somehow plans to be successful in life by getting his current boss fired and taking over the company, even though no one really likes him there. I think his attempt at a coup is doomed to failure due to the total lack of support he'll have in the aftermath.

5.)He loves musicals and plays, but he's only seen two in his entire life. I've never had someone tell me mundane details of Rent than this kid. He seemed to totally fixate on things.

6.)His favorite TV show is "Sex and the City" and his favorite character is Charlotte. Not because she's the prettiest (which is reason most guys give), but because she behaves how all women should behave...

7.)He believes women today are far too aggressive and need to learn how to be "sweeter". Ambition is not a plus in a woman.

8.) He's 25 and divorced because his ex-wife didn't want to have children immediately.

Obviously, this date did not end with a promise of a second date. There was something totally off about this kid, but I cannot place it. Maybe he had Asperger's or something like that? I'm totally going to assume that's what the problem is, because I did that with someone else once and I still believe my diagnosis was right on the money.