Fun Fact #39: Death notices are certainly a way to liven up getting the mail

It's no secret that I'm living in Pittsburgh, but it may come of surprise to some people that I'm basically living in a retirement home while I'm here. I truly believe that the average age of my "neighbors" is about eighty.

The fact that I'm living with a group of people about six decades older than me means that death is a constant presence here. I often see an ambulance parked out front when I come back from work or the gym (my only two activities here besides eating). The deaths don't really bother me since I don't know the people, but it's just a kind of sad situation all around.

What makes it even more awkward is how the building handles these deaths. The deaths are so common that the building managmment has a box pre-printed signs that read:

We're sorry to inform you that blank from apartment blank has passed away on blank date. The funeral is scheduled for blank date.

It makes sense to have these signs but they still come across as a little morbid to me. They're also posted by the mail box, so everyone gets a chance to read the news while they're getting their mail. It's pretty a pretty special experience to learn that Mildred from next door passed away the night before while you're thumbing through the newest issues of US Weekly.

I don't think I ever want to live in a place where death is such a constant part of life that having 20 or so death notices on hand makes total sense. I'd much rather retire someplace where I'm not constantly reminded how close death is. Of course that opinion could very well change in the next fifty or so years.

Fun Fact #4: Old people can be pretty weird sometimes

This morning I was basically accosted by an old woman, who was probably around 4 feet tall and weighed like 50 pounds, because I was yawning.

I was walking back from the gym, surely looking lovely in my sweaty clothes, and I yawn because I'm tired. This tiny old lady appears out of nowhere and shouts at me, "Do you know your mouth is open?" I awkwardly respond that I do, and she gives the biggest/weirdest smile ever. And then walks away, but not before she pokes me the stomach for good measure. I just stand there, my mouth of course gaping, and this random guy who saw the whole thing just walked by laughing. I still have no idea why she thought poking me would help better convey whatever psychotic message she was trying to get across. I also really don't like when people touch me, so it just made the situation that much better.

I don't know why awkward people enjoy talking to me. I don't like talking to random people and I don't think I come across as especially nice or interested in them. But it's like they seek me out to talk to me, maybe it's karma because I, on a very rare occasion, will mock something (or someone) that I regard as awkward.

My favorite awkward moment ever though has to be when this trashy meth addict, who was carrying around a teddy bear, wouldn't stop looking at me in this weird bar in Eugene. Ronnie, of course, thought it was hilarious.