Spoken by two guys in their forties with heavy Pittsburgh (aka Yinzer) accents during a Pittsburgh Penguin's hockey game:
Guy #1: Celine is pretty hot, right?
Guy #2: I guess so...
Guy #1: You know we've almost hooked up a bunch of times?
Guy #2: Almost?
Guy #1: Yeah, almost. I've decided she must be a lesbian.
I love that some people will go through life avoiding the true cause of their problems. In this case, Guy #2 looked like he had recently crawled out of his parents' basement for the first time in months.
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