Fun Fact #32: I guess I'm super "white"

A bunch of my friends have emailed me a link to this blog called Stuff White People Like. I actually think a more appropriate title would be Stuff Upper-Middle Class Liberal Urbanites Like, but I guess Stuff White People Like flows a little better. The blog reads kind of like an instruction manual on how to fit in with "White People"...

There are two ways that one can read the blog and I don't really know how the author means for it to be read. On one hand, one can see it as being racist and mean-spirited toward a particular group of people. On the other hand, one could also read it as something that is offensive and funny at the same time. I personally chose to take the second route, but I have a kind of harsh sense of humor and I tend to find "mean-spirited" things to be funny.

The reason I find this blog humorous is because it has me and basically everyone I know pegged down the most mundane aspects. I was really bored at work yesterday, so I read through all the posts and found myself nodding in agreement to the vast majority of them.

I, like almost everyone else I know, like to pretend that I'm a unique little snowflake but, the fact is, I'm painfully similar to a lot of people in my age group (at least on a superficial level). I really have no problem accepting that fact though. I don't think that a lot of the stuff that "white people" like is really even that bad.

Anyways, these are some of my favorite posts:

#67: Standing Still at Concerts
"They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you."
I totally believe this to be true in my case because my dancing skills, or lack thereof, are just that bad.

#54: Kitchen Gadgets
"...The need to own the holy grail of white kitchens - the kitchen aid stand mixer (right). They will match this mixer to their kitchen’s color scheme and it will make up the focal point. And much like many religious artifacts, it will remain untouched for months and even years, sitting on the counter to be admired as a testament to their lifestyle"
I can truly say that basically every house I ever visited (including my own) had a freaking Kitchen Aid Mixer. Ours was never used but it still sat there proudly. And in college, I remember how everyone oohed and ahhed over those who were lucky enough to have one at such a young age!

#40: Apple Products
"On the surface, you would ask yourself, how is that white people love a multi-billion dollar company with manufacturing plants in China, mass production, and that contributes to global pollution through the manufacture of consumer electronic devices?

Simple answer: Apple products tell the world you are creative and unique. They are an exclusive product line only used by every white college student, designer, writer, English teacher, and hipster on the planet."
No comment is really even needed, this is so painfully true. People who have Apple products, and I'm one of them, have a tendency become super elitist about how their products are soooo great and how they can never go back to a PC now.

#35: The Daily Show/The Colbert Report
"White women all consider John Stewart to be the most perfect man on the planet. This is not a debate, it is law."
True.

#16: Gifted Children
"The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.

If a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school

NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear."
This is my favorite post because it's so accurate. I still remember the pride in my parents' voices when they were able to announce to their friends that of their children had qualified for California's "Gifted and Talented Education" (or GATE) program. My parents were also fans of the Montessori schools and stuff like that. I don't know what they would have done had one of us failed to be "gifted"...

Once again, I can see why people may be offended by this but I just take it with a grain of salt and see the humor in it. A whole different class of white people have "You Might be a Redneck If..." and "Blue Collar TV'" and they're able to laugh at their stereotypes, so I figure that I should be able to as well.