I was trying to be a "good sport" in December when I decided to embrace the miserable cold and snow that winter brings to Pittsburgh by going skiing. I used a pair a pair of my cousin's old boots and things seemed to be going to well, I mean the boots hurt a little but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.
The next morning I woke up to find the toenail on my big toe was throbbing and turning unpleasant colors. I realize this sounds like a pretty mundane "injury" to complain about but now, about three months later, the nail is dark black and feels (and looks) like it's going to fall off. The thought of that happening makes me nauseous.
I've been unable to stop focusing on my "deformed" toenail. I just want the nail off to fall off quickly, but I don't want it to be a surprise. I realize that it almost sounds like I'm discussing giving birth or something. Anyways, one of my newest fears involves taking off my shoe and having my toe nail fall off in the process. I now take my shoes off very carefully...
I'm super impatient and like being in control of things, I'm not into anything unexpected. I was totally the kid who would basically tear their loose tooth out to avoid waiting for it to fall out. I would head to the bathroom the second I felt that my tooth was loose and sit in front of the mirror twisting it until it came out.
I obviously cannot follow the same tactics for my toenail since it would probably lead to excruciating pain, so I just have to wait it out. I realize this is not a very significant event to write about it but it's probably the thing I'm focusing on most. For better or worse, I tend to obsesses about things I have no control over.
UPDATE: My biggest fear came true and I tore my toenail off when I was removing my shoe. I can't even look at my toe without feeling nauseous but I guess it can start healing now.
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