Fun Fact #39: Death notices are certainly a way to liven up getting the mail

It's no secret that I'm living in Pittsburgh, but it may come of surprise to some people that I'm basically living in a retirement home while I'm here. I truly believe that the average age of my "neighbors" is about eighty.

The fact that I'm living with a group of people about six decades older than me means that death is a constant presence here. I often see an ambulance parked out front when I come back from work or the gym (my only two activities here besides eating). The deaths don't really bother me since I don't know the people, but it's just a kind of sad situation all around.

What makes it even more awkward is how the building handles these deaths. The deaths are so common that the building managmment has a box pre-printed signs that read:

We're sorry to inform you that blank from apartment blank has passed away on blank date. The funeral is scheduled for blank date.

It makes sense to have these signs but they still come across as a little morbid to me. They're also posted by the mail box, so everyone gets a chance to read the news while they're getting their mail. It's pretty a pretty special experience to learn that Mildred from next door passed away the night before while you're thumbing through the newest issues of US Weekly.

I don't think I ever want to live in a place where death is such a constant part of life that having 20 or so death notices on hand makes total sense. I'd much rather retire someplace where I'm not constantly reminded how close death is. Of course that opinion could very well change in the next fifty or so years.

Fun Fact #19: There is such a thing as a "Precious Moments" casket

I've never been a fan of "Precious Moments" figurines. It's okay if others like them (each to their own after all), but I personally find them to be cloyingly sentimental. Maybe it's because I'm somewhat emotionless and don't like overly religious things, but the figurines just kind of creep me out. I tend to have a relatively cynical view of life, and "Precious Moments" products seem to embody a polar opposite view.

Even though I hate them, a lot of people are totally obsessed with them. I guess some people are obsessed to the point that they want to buried for all eternity in a casket with creepy little dolls all over it. Yes, there is a "Precious Moments" casket and it's every bit as glorious as one would imagine it to be.

This is the lovely casket. I can only kind of imagine the individual who would want to be buried in such a casket, and it's a pretty depressing image.

But if a burial isn't your thing, there's nothing to be depressed about because there's also an urn!
The urn even has a creepy figurine proudly attached to it. Imagine the questions that would be asked if you had this displayed in your house. Kids would probably assume it was a toy or something and knock the whole thing over.

The whole "Precious Moments" obsession just confuses me. There must be a market for the casket and urn, otherwise they wouldn't be made. The level that the obsession must reach in order to want to be buried in that casket just amazes me. I mean I was obsessed with Titanic during what was probably my least cynical phase, but I never wanted to be buried in a casket shaped like a replica of the boat or anything.