Fun Fact #44: Family vacations lead to a lot of "fun facts"

Family vacations have made up a significant portion of my life. I've gone to various countries but the majority of them tend to take place in California and usually involve a thrilling road trip on the 5 (or Interstate 5 for everyone outside of Southern California). This summer's family vacations mixed up the formula a little as we went to Atlantic City and then flew, not drove, to the annual Yosemite camping trip. Neither of the trips proved to be hugely memorable, but there were a few "fun facts" that arose from them.

Atlantic City

1) Atlantic City, which I went to for a family reunion, lived up to every preconceived notion that I had about it. I know that I've mentioned that Pittsburgh had more obese people than I'd ever seen before, but Atlantic City surpassed it by leaps and bounds. As one of my aunts put it, "I've never felt better about myself..." Our hotel was basically just a casino and beyond all the lovely noise, flashing lights, and constant smoking, one also had to deal with the risk of being mowed over by some overly enthusiastic casino-goer on a Rascal scooter.

2) I was involved in a rescue attempt at the Jersey shore. No, I didn't finally get to put my superb lifeguard skills to use. Instead, my cousin, my siblings, and I ended up getting stuck in a rip tide. We were all swimming out but I guess we didn't look very graceful because this poor lifeguard came racing out to us with his rescue tube because he assumed we were drowning. Luckily, we had survived the rip tide and were perfectly fine. I think my brother, being the only boy, was slightly humiliated. But it doesn't end there since a few hours later one of aunts actually had to be rescued. I'm sure the lifeguards all hated my family.

3) I went Savage Men, a male revue, with my some of cousins and my 87-year old grandmother. It was just as awkward as it the website makes it out to be. I was hoping it would some choreographed show, like Chippendale's, but it was definitely not up to that caliber. Instead, the show consisted of super beefy men (as in their arms could not touch their sides) humping and simulating sex with "lucky" audience participants. We had went because my grandmother had seen "Thunder Down Under" in Vegas and is basically their number one fan, but even she was disappointed with this show. The most surreal part was one guy came out dressed as a soldier from 300 and began to strip while the movie played in the background. So, while this lovely young man was gyrating all over these wasted girls, images of men being decapitated were flashing across the screen. I left early with one of my cousins (after she was basically accosted by one of the dancers in an attempt to get a tip) and we ended up eating our leftover dinner in some creepy alley on the Boardwalk.

Yosemite

1) As anyone who knows me would guess, I'm not a fan of camping. I'm obsessive about showering and keeping things neat. Camping and I just don't really mix. My last "true" camping experience was in Ashland, OR and it was a disaster. I woke up the first night floating in a puddle of water and the second night was spent sleeping in the back of someone's car. Therefore, this camping trip catered a little more to someone like me as I was able to have an air mattress and hot showers whenever I wanted.

2) I adore white water rafting, it's probably one of my favorite things to do. We spent a day rafting the Tuolumne River and, beyond getting severely sunburned, I had a great time. My family took up the whole raft which meant that my littlest sister actually had to paddle, a task at which she epically failed at. She would basically just dip her paddle in the water and then stare at scenery.

3)I was able to finally finish one of my new favorite books, Blindness by Jose Saramago. I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who wants an engrossing and challenging read. It takes awhile to get into because there is scant punctuation and sentences can take up a whole page.

4) I'm not a huge fan of rodents. So, I was horrified to discover that I had brought a mouse back from camp. I reacted in a totally adult manner, throwing the suitcase at my youngest sister and demanding that she take care of the situation. She ended up trying to nurse the mouse (Tiny Tuolumne or "TT") back to health; she gave him bird food to eat and tried to make him drink out of a little dropper. It was a pretty cute sight, but TT tragically passed away. He shall probably be buried in the massive pet cemetery at our house, next the various pet rodents that have passed away before. There were plans to have a ceremony for TT, but I was busy this evening and my absence would have made the number of attendees drop to one. So, the ceremony for a mouse we knew for a total of an hour was postponed. As of now, TT creepily is sitting right outside my bedroom window in a little box....